In Her Words: Amy Hogen

My name is Amy. I have been in Bozeman on and off since 2003.

I have always been interested in birth and babies. When I was in college I attended my first birth as a doula and was hooked from that point on. Since 2002 I have attended over 50 births for friends and clients and also had four of my own babies.

It took 2 1/2 years for my husband and I to get pregnant the first time. We miscarried our first pregnancy at 8 weeks along and began our entry into grief and loss at that point.

The person who helped me the most during that time was a local midwife who said, "your body knows what to do, we need to care for your head and your heart right now". She made space for my broken heart to mourn all that could have been and helped me see what was important at that time.

We got pregnant again 4 months later and carried this baby to term. Our son Abner passed away during delivery in 2009. We were devastated.

We lived in a small town at the time and I spent a lot of the early and most painful days searching for people I could talk to about my loss. There were no resources in the town to support people who had lost babies and we navigated our experience with the loving help of family and friends.

Over time it became important to honor Abner's memory by giving back in his name. Roots Family Collaborative was just forming at the time and for Abner's 8th birthday I reached out to Roots founder, Suzanne, and asked if there was space in the organization to support families who had lost a pregnancy or young baby.

Roots had space and the loss group was founded. We now host monthly support groups, offer one on one support for families who prefer closer connections and collaborate with Tree of Life Doula Care to hold an annual Wave of Light event to honor and make space for the families of the babies gone too soon.
Being able to connect with other families who have suffered this loss has been an invaluable gift to me, making it seem possible to navigate the dark and sometimes impossible- seeming night of pregnancy loss.

Giving back by telling my story and connecting with others to offer hope and encouragement is a balm to my spirit and helps me remember and honor my children and all the children who left far too soon.

This was originally posted on our Instagram account in October 2021, a month that recognizes Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness, including the annual Wave of Light event. If you are in need of grief support surrounding the loss of a pregnancy, infant, or child, please feel free to reach out to us or view our bereavement page for resources.